Now FFIX is a Damn fine game in many respects. The weapon synthesis system is nowhere near one of the best aspects of the game.
Imagine you stop at a fast food restaurant for a quick bite to eat. You order a delicious hamburger, and prepare to hand over the cash, but not so fast!
The restaurant employee informs you that they don’t have the buns or meat to make your hamburger. Looks like you’ll have to find them yourself, and then he will take your ingredients, still charge you, and make you a burger.
What the H!?
The issue becomes even more ridiculous if you imagine that the burger joint is located right next to a supermarket.
This is exactly what the synthesis shops do in FFIX!
Why doesn’t the synthesis shop just buy their own weapons to combine and sell? The weapon store is literally right next to you! You could build a fucking door between your stores! Don’t act like you don’t have an ax in your weapon shop! Why don’t you and the weapon shop just merge into one store!?
But then where would all the meaningless fetch quests come from? Not to mention the fact that I can’t sell any weapons ever again since you might need them for future synthesizing!
So there I am on an island no one knew about for centuries, in a place no man has set foot on in hundreds of years. I’m fighting a cunning group of thieves out to kill me and steal the treasure I came here to retrieve for probably more noble purposes I guess.
I am crafty enough to steal a Jet S- WaveRun- AHEM ‘personal water craft’ from the villains, and I set a course upriver. Unfortunately, the enemy knows I’m on the way. Suddenly they begin to toss dozens of barrels into the river. Oh no! They are full of oil, and explode violently!
This is the part where I pause the game and take a deep breath.
Hold on a minute now Uncharted.
Oil prices are in the range of a hundred bucks a barrel, and these henchmen are just tossing it into the river like it’s worthless. These guys wouldn’t need to steal such rare things if they were just more careful with how they use their money and supplies.
Did they really bring hundreds of drums of oil to just throw into a river when they got here? And if not, then what were they intended for? Because you sure as hell can’t use them for that when you are throwing them in the fucking ocean!
But before we can even worry about that, we have to ask the underlying question, how exactly did you get all that oil here? You can’t just pick up some oil drums from the local supply store, and fill them up at the uncharted gas station. These barrels had to be carried onto a boat, likely by the same henchmen that are chucking them out like expired food as we speak. If you factor in the cost, as well as the fact that a giant cargo ship docking anywhere and buying hundreds of barrels of oil and weapons, landing in any port anywhere not exactly being inconspicuous, I can only conclude that at the very least, these thieves need to hire an accountant.
Oh Uncharted, you had me going there for a moment, but you burst the reality of my experience like an exploding barrel blows up a personal watercraft.